Pendulum part 2

Near the end of last quarter, I wrote about my constant struggle to decide between teaching middle school math or an upper elementary classroom in Pendulum. At the time that I wrote that post, my heart pendulum had begun to swing more toward being a classroom teacher; however, I am once again beginning to swing back the other way.

In one of my classes, we are reading A Sustainable Start: A Realistic Look at the First Year of Teaching by John Spencer, and I am also reading with a group Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire by Rafe Esquith. Reading these two books side-by-side has been helping me decide what kind of teacher I want to be. Spencer has been talking about teaching sustainably in the sense of not getting burnt out as a teacher. One should teach not like a firework, flaming in brilliance for a moment, but like a campfire, burning steadily for a long time. Esquith has been giving me aspirations to be a great teacher, but he has also been giving me things that would transform my career into a firework rather than a campfire.

In the way the Spencer and Esquith books are in conversation about teaching, so too are my thoughts about who and how I want to teach. I have become worried that my wanting to be a classroom teacher is more for the firework reason than the campfire sustainability. If I were a classroom teacher, I would aspire to be Rafe Esquith doing incredible things and changing kids for the rest of their lives. I would want greatness and aspire to teach 5th graders everything they need to know about life. While aspiring to be this amazing of a teacher is just fine for some, I think I would burn out within the first couple years as suggested by Spencer.

If I were to go the route of being a middle school teacher, I think I would be more likely to create a sustainable career for myself yet still aspire to great things later. I can still be a great teacher without changing the world in my first year. I will be able to teach the subject I love, math, without trying to force myself to teach subjects I am not as comfortable with. Don't get me wrong, I am not swinging back toward teaching middle school math simply because it would be easier. I am swinging back toward teaching a subject I love, toward a sustainable start to my career, and the ability to be a great teacher without forcing myself to be what I'm not.